Only Human....

Ok...if there's one thing I don't like its judgement and assumptions. Yes, we all make assumptions...we can't help it, it's human nature, but really its one thing to assume and its another to pass judgement. Firstly, it is neither your job nor are you under any inclination to judge. Secondly, if you have an assumption, understand that that' what it is; an ASSUMPTION. In other words;it is your opinion or idea of something, not a fact.

Recently, there have been problems. Miscommunication and misunderstandings (which, I admit, I am guilty of. I sincerely apologize for that.) but you really think that because of that, you have a right to judge? You may assume, but passing judgement? The line may be fine between the two, but the line is there none the less. And although these two may be similar, although we all may be guilty of the latter, freedom of expression or not you have no right to impose your judgement on others. Plain and Simple English? You've judged someone or something, good for you. That does not necessarily mean that it is true, that all your facts are correct or that you may impose it on others.

We all make mistakes. The simple way forward is to learn from these mistakes, try to "fix" any damage that was done or change any negative outcome that may have occured, and move along with life.  What else are you going to do? Instead of focusing, draining your emotional and mental state, just try to correct your mistake and move along. Take me for example:

I can be pretty stupid. I probably always will be (when it comes to certain things). I don't always know what's good for me. I can be selfish and stubborn, and I respect my pride too much. I do things without thinking; I don't know how to tell people how I feel and I'm even more terrified to show them. I'm impulsive and hotheaded and my big mouth gets me in trouble more times than I can count.I think it's my job to protect people I care about, to never let them down in any way, but sometimes it seems that its inevitable and I don't know how to change. I'm honest about the wrong things and I keep more secrets and emotions inside me than what's healthy. I use self-defence to avoid getting hurt and experience has taught me that holding on to something too tightly means it'll get taken away, and I can't find a balance between the two extremes. I can be hypocritcal as I say I hate fake people, but sometimes I feel its better to pretend that everything's okay so that people will not worry or think of me. I try to put them first because I care about them that much.I hate feeling like a burden to someone, which is why I never open up to anyone. I want so much for someone to understand me, but when I try to explain myself I know no one will understand because they don't think the same way as I do,or they dont bother trying. But these are just my problems. I'm aware of them and how "difficult" I may be, but you know what they say. Acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step to dealing with the problem...

 Everyone's different.Everyone is human. That means we're imperfect, we're allowed to make mistakes, but at the same time consideration for others is also important. It's understandable if the mistake was unintentional however, at the same time, it deosn't mean these mistakes should be taken lightly. Forgiveness is important and shouldn't be taken for granted.

One of my friends have a love for poetry, so I think I'm correct when I quote Alexander Pope who has penned the famous line; "To err is human, to forgive is divine". Forgiveness is not easy. Those who ask for it, must earn it. It must not be taken lightly either. The only reason one may ask for forgiveness is if they have wronged somehow and hurt someone or something because of it. It is one thing to seek forgiveness, but it is another to mean it. You should not ask for it because you feel you are wrong and you want to apologize and move along.By asking for forgiveness, there is an implication that you are aware that whatever you have done wrong has effected the person and you are sincere in your apology. When someone forgives you, it is not usually because they cannot hold a grudge, or just because they want you to stop nagging them or feeling guilty, but it is because they understand that your mistake was not intentional.

That being said, it is up to you, once you are granted forgiveness, to ensure that you earn their trust back (because even though they don't admit it, you have lost a piece of their trust once you hurt them, intentional or not) as well as uphold the implicated promise to never repeat that mistake again,which is what is expected by them as well.If they do not forgive you, it is because they are hurt. To what extent,you can only guess as indirectly it is your fault. Putting yourself in their position will not be accurate, but it may give you and idea of how they feel.Even if they do not forgive you, they will eventually. You just have to prove to them that you are sincere. It is not everyday you make mistakes and hurt people, so it is not everyday you should ask for forgiveness.

Break Up, to Make Up...

After reading that, this post will make no sense...but it's just a title...meh...

I've been missing for a month or so, I'm aware (Dodges rotten tomatoes and deletes all email threats) BUT I'm back now...thank Dingbat for giving me the thoughts to formulate this post...

Mixed Signals...it's a *BEEP*, isn't it? It's like Confusing the Confused, but worse. Take it from me.
But why? Why the mixed signals? What are you not sure about? Why must you confuse?

Lets take a simple story....

You got a boy, you got a girl, sitting underneath a tree.
They sit there everyday...
And even though, you may think, this is the way that things should be
It may not always be that way...

They're friends, pompers, exes, whatever the relation; there is "something" between them.
The girl likes the boy, the boy may or may not like the girl, but they sit underneath the tree. Lost to the world. Oblivious to everything around them. The girl shows affection, shes honest about her feelings, but the boy closes up. The girl begins to think the boy is heartless, he's giving her mixed signals, she does the only thing she thinks is now the only option: she gets up and walks away. Leaving the once comfortable, enjoyable "something" between them lost..but not completely forgotten.

But why did he let her walk away? The fact that she was there in the first place meant something, right? Did he feel something for her? They begin to question everything, analyse every detail...but in the end, they're apart so it doesnt matter anymore.

It hurts both of them. It haunts them. They question what happened, the memories, they wonder if they should let go of it, or wait and see if it may happen again. They use other people to have fun (Pomping or otherwise) to try to forget, try to escape the pain...but before they get attatched to someone else, they let them go. They don't want to be in the position they were before, feel the pain they once felt again...

They look for answers to the questions that plague them, but in honest truth they have none. And that makes them feel even worse. How can they move on, when theyre still trying to move away from the past?

What's the answer? What should they do? Don't ask me, I'm neither Dr Phil nor Jerry Springer nor Oprah. I'm just Kathy. An individual with my own opinion, my own thoughts, my own actions. The way I see things is different from the way you see it. I give personal advice, not objective advice. So again, you ask, what to do? The only thing I can think of is honesty.

Be honest with yourself. Find closure,talk to the other person, be open and figure out the answers to those questions. It may be the last thing on your mind, you may think it's opening old wounds...but isn't it better to open and old wound to let it heal properly instead of leaving the scab? Even after you have healed the scar will always be there...But the beauty of scars is that it's a reminder of what used to be. It's a mark for a memory that has helped you grow and develop as an individual and someday you'll be proud of it and the memories that came with it as it will be a lesson for life....