Now if you're wondering about the title...I don't own! Tyson Ritter owns! Yes I'm quoting The All-American Rejects...Why, you ask?
Someone recently asked me if I would fight for what was mine (In the sense that if my relationship with my boyfriend was falling apart, would I still try and make it work?) Cue instant song in my head (and mumbled singing under my breath) of "Fallin' Apart".....hence, the title...But, to his dismay, I answered with a simple "No"
Ok so many people aren't going to understand or agree with my answer, because the song contradicts it, so let me explain...
If you haven't realised it by now, I'm anything but normal. Crazy, wild, off my head, naughty, eccentric, etc. All those and more have been used to describe me; and I can tell you now they're not far from the truth. One of the most outstanding aspects of my personality is that I'm very passionate; about everything and everything. My emotions aren't just emotions, they're like Natural Disasters in their own right. If I'm happy, I'm on top of the world, If I'm upset, the world may as well end for all I care, If I'm angry...well, lightning in my eyes aside, my legendary temper is something else.
What does this mean? It means if and when I'm with someone, I give them my all, my everything and if I say I love them, you'd better believe I do! More than I'll ever be able to understand, even if I do know why...
So, back to the question. Why is my answer "No"? Not because I don't love them, not because I don't want to be with them but because I truly believe if something were "mine" then it was meant for me and it would know and be content with being "mine". I wouldn't fight because indirectly, it would just mean that it was never "mine: in the first place. Simple enough?
But this is concerning a relationship, right? My answer still wouldn't change. If they wanted to go, I wouldn't hold them back, I'd hold the door open. It would hurt, it would mean that everything we've worked for just went out the door with them; but it's what I would do. Again, why? (You need to come up with other questions than "why", by the way..) Because, in my mind, it wasn't enough. I didn't try hard enough yo make things work and my love wasn't enough. So instead I'd put a fake smile on my face and watch them go, no questions asked...
Now you're probably thinking I don't care and that the nickname I once had (Heartless Doll) is very fitting. No, no it's not. That nickname was because once my heart got damaged a long time ago I guard whats left of it fiercely. that doesn't mean I'm incapable of love and affection, it means that I'm selective of who I get close to, and become aware that I care deeply for them. By watching that person walk away I may be hurting myself; but that act itself, walking away, would mean that they had made their choice and that I was not it. I was not what they wanted or what they were looking for, so they should go try somewhere else. It means that I loved them enough to want them to be happy, with or without me. Thats just the kind of person I am.
